「アメリカの新幹線」、アムトラックに乗った。そのスピードとガタピシ感に、発車数秒で失笑してしまったけれど、鉄道の旅は味があって好きだ。夫も子供もいない、久しぶりの一人旅。NYCへ向かって、これから始まる4時間の鉄道旅行に期待を膨らませ、車窓を眺めた。

1時間ほど走った頃だろうか、気のせいか、追っかけていた外の景色が目で凝視できるようになってきた。そう思ったのもつかの間、電車はぴたりと停止した。しばらくして車内アナウンスがあり、この先の線路と交差する予定の高速道路でトラックの火災があったとのこと。暗雲が立ち込めるとはこのことだなと思いながら不安な気持ちで次の展開を待っていると、結局、消火活動の時間が読めないから引き返しますと車掌の声が言った。ドイツなら、ここで自己主張の大合唱が始まるだろう。でも、アメリカは違った。みんなとても穏やかで、携帯電話を貸し合い（私も義母から借りた携帯を貸してあげた）、予定変更を家族や友人に知らせている。途中車掌が通っても、つかまえて質問責めにするようなことはない。少し拍子抜けしたけれど、流れに任せ、元来た道を引き返す電車に揺られた。

それから1時間ほど歩く速さで逆行した後、予想もしない急展開が起きた。消火活動が済んだので、やっぱり予定通りNYCに向かいますと車掌は言った。既に出発してから2時間は経過しているのに、出発地点からほとんど移動できていない。自分は無力で乗った電車に揺られるしかない。私は一人だったせいもあって、悶々とした気持ちで、ただ委ねるしかないこの状況になんだか泣けてきた。西洋は自己主張が鉄板だと意気込んでいた私は、主張せずに折り合うアメリカ的な方法を目の当たりにして、一気に脱力した。そうすると、急に自分がお腹が空いていたことに気づいたので、食堂車で何か買うことにした。

新幹線の売店を頭に描いた私が間違いだったけれど、なかばキオスクのような売店に食べたいものは見つからなかった。仕方なく、「チキンサンド」を注文し、聞かれるままにチンしてもらった。座席に戻って一口食べた瞬間、涙が流れた。アツアツにチンされた、ふにゃふにゃのパンとチキンなのか何なのかわからない弾力のあるカタマリ。自分がチキンサンドだと自覚していないチキンサンドを、空腹に任せて口に押し込んだ。なんかすべてが切なくなってきて泣けた。

当初の運行時間をはるかに超えて、6時間ほど電車に揺られた私は、やっとマンハッタンにたどり着いた。半日近く一緒に過ごしたガタピシのアムトラックに愛着は沸かなかったけれど、出発前よりも、アメリカ人のことが分かった気がした。そして少し皮肉にも、一番悲しかったあのふにゃふにゃチキンサンドが、電車の中で平和を好むアメリカ人やアムトラックの旅そのものを象徴する記念品のように、今でも私の記憶に残っている。

I took Amtrak aka ‘America’s Shinkansen’. The speed and the rattling noise are nothing like Shinkansen but it didn’t bother me as I love train journey because you can relax while enjoying the view from the window, and feel the sense of moving from one place to another. I was thrilled with what I would see and experience by myself from this solo train trip to NYC!

About one hour later, I noticed that I could focus on the details of the scenery from the window which I was only able to glance earlier, and it didn’t take too long until the train stopped moving completely. Moments later, the conductor announced that a fire broke out on a highway where this train would be coming across later. Feeling like the dark clouds begun to gather over me, I was anxious to know what would happen next. Then, the voice on the speaker said, “we are heading back because they cannot estimate the time to put out the fire.” If it were in Germany, people would start to claim their passengers’ right to know more details but what I experienced was different. First, people were very calm. After the first announcement, they started to borrow a mobile phone from their neighbour (I also lend mine) to call their family and friends. In the meantime, the conductor passed through but no one was showering him with aggressive questions. In this train, there only seemed peace and harmony. In contrast, I felt pretty upset and confused. “Go with the flow.” I talked to myself to calm down.

Another hour passed, the situation unfolded dramatically. They decided to head to NYC again because the fire was extinguished. It has been already two hours since we departed but we have hardly moved from the starting point, and I had no choice but sitting in the train. The whole event; the fire, the train heading back and forth, people’s reaction etc, was all unfamiliar, I was totally lost in the situation, and there were so many thoughts and emotions going through my head. Maybe because I had no one to share my feelings with… To my surprise, I was somehow disappointed by the fellow passengers’ behaviour, wondering “why they don’t complain or claim their rights?!” Next moment, I decided to accept all, yes I surrendered. as soon as I came to this point, suddenly, I realised that I was very hungry. So I went to the restaurant car to grab something to eat.

Standing at the take-out counter, I couldn’t find anything that I wanted to eat. Reluctantly, I picked a chicken sandwich. A lady at the counter asked me if it should be warmed up, and I said yes without thinking anything. What I got, then, was a microwave-overheated sandwich. Back to my seat and had a first bite, I had to cry. The sandwich was too hot and strangely soft like sponge, and the chicken had an indescribable weird texture like something rubbery and elastic. To fill my stomach, I kept eating the stuff (nearly with my eyes closed), the stuff which no body knew what it was, even the sandwich itself probably didn’t know the answer… Now, I was devastated and felt empty.

After about six hours of amtraking, we finally arrived at Pen station. We reached our destination. Even after having a long ‘relashionship,’ I cannot say that the rattling Amtrak is my buddy but I think I learnt what American is about little deeper than that morning. And, I will never forget American’s peaceful mind and the super-soft chicken sandwich, a prize of this trip.

_{photographed in aug/2017}