化粧台、香水、眼鏡、ヘアブラシ。もう帰ってこない主人に、待ちぼうけを食らわされているとも知らず、佇むモノたち。時間は、そのモノの周りでだけ止まっているようにもみえた。大好きだった祖母が亡くなったあと、彼女の部屋へ入った時のことだ。

人ってこんなに突然に、そして完全に消えてしまえるのか。近い人がなくなるということを初めて経験した20歳そこらの私は茫然とした。「神隠し」という言葉は知っていたけれど、まさに神様が突然連れて行ってしまったようだなと思った。

私が去る日もいつかやってくる。私のモノたちは、どんな表情で主人の不在を受け止めるだろう？あれもこれも取っておいて捨てられない主人がいなくなり、お役目が解けてほっとするかもしれない。

There were her perfumes, her hair brushes and her glasses on her dressing table. They looked like standing still and waiting patiently to be used by her, without knowing she will never come back again. Time around her things looked as if stands still. This was what I saw when I walked into the room of my beloved grandmother after she passed away.

I was just 20 years old, and extremely shocked and confused to see how suddenly and completely one could disappear. I had a strange and surreal feeling as well. I knew the word “spirited away,” but I literally experienced the word at that time. It was really like God suddenly took my grandmother away.

Someday, I will also be gone. Now, I wonder how my things will react and accept my absence? I belive they would be relieved to find out that they will be no longer on duty to their master who kept almost everything and couldn’t throw away.

^{photographed in apr/2009}